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5 Reasons Not to Date During Your First Year Sober
You have probably heard that you cannot date in the first year of sobriety and that is probably a wise decision, but what do you when you have a year and you are headed on your first date since you got sober? Dating is a big deal and can be relatively terrifying to someone that may just be learning about themselves with all the work they are doing to have better relationships in their recovery. Take a deep breath and be thankful that you got to this point in your sobriety. Although you may be nervous to go on a first date because most people are, take a look at some suggestions to get you through your date and have fun while you are on it. In recovery, you were probably told to take your sobriety one day at a time, so why not do the same thing with your date? Take each minute to be in the moment of what you and your date are doing so that you can experience it without letting your fear take over. Being worried about the outcome or what will happen in the future may be the very thing that keeps you from enjoying what is happening right in front of you. Use your recovery tools to help settle any nerves you may feel before and during your date so that you can have a really good time. There is no need to tell your date everything about yourself on the first date.
The first few months of recovery from addiction are some of the most difficult. Insomnia, triggers, drug cravings, and the need to deal with emotions that were previously numbed with drugs make early recovery a period of enormous adjustment. Learning to feel emotions again, including positive feelings of love and intimacy, can be one of the most challenging parts of recovery, but also one of the most rewarding.
Recovering addicts hear this all the time in step programs. However, this sound bit of wisdom is rarely heeded. Many have a hard time accepting that a hiatus from intimate relationships is necessary. In their minds, dating and new relationships seem benign.
10 Reasons Not to Date During Your First Year of Sobriety
Common arguments can sound like:. Carter recently. He was directing these words to clients still in a drug rehab environment, but this advice crosses over to anyone in early sobriety:. Think about this for a moment. Addiction is a medical illness, just like diabetes or cancer.